Friday, 22 February 2013

David Cameron you are a ****ing ****

His Holiness David Cameron has emailed me, I assume he has emailed others, but perhaps he wishes me to announce this flagship policy for him.

Last year, I said we would do something else: take action on the sky-high energy bills that families across the country struggle with. At the moment, people often face a mind-boggling number of tariffs and pay a lot more than they should do.
Well, thats simply bollocks.  I've gone hunting for a "mind boggling number of tariffs", and so far, the widest spread I can find is £150 per year.
Dont get me wrong, £150 is nice, but its not my biggest cost, and that was after spent 20 minutes looking for "bad" tarriffs
That's why I made a personal commitment. I said it was time for energy companies to be straight with their customers and offer them the lowest available tariff. No more tricks, loopholes or small print; time for transparency.
But they do, if you phone up E.ON or SSE or British Gas with your annual usage, they will tell you the best tarrif.
The problem is of course, few people have that information, because most people are retarded.

So I'm delighted that yesterday OFGEM - the energy regulator - said it would deliver on my plan to get bills down. Starting this summer, energy companies will need to:
Present clear bills with the cheapest available tariff
Thats what already happens,  I submit a meter reading each month, and British Gas send me an accurate bill.
The problem is of course, that few people can be bothered reading their meters annually, yet alone montly

Offer no more than 4 tariffs for each type of fuel

Of course, the problem is too much choice.....

Abide by a rigorous code of conduct or face heavy fines
Because more taxes will bring down energy costs you fucking moron.
And the Government is going to use its Energy Bill to push things further still. Once this becomes law, suppliers will have to put people on the cheapest variable rate unless they choose otherwise.
But as we have already discussed, they already do this, when presented with the information they need to do this!

These changes will at last help to switch the balance of power in the energy market. People will be in the driving seat and companies will be competing hard for their custom.
We said we'd do everything possible to help the hard-working families of this country - and we are keeping our word.

You just couldnt resist could you, you disingenuous cowardly lickspittle.

10% of my gas bill, and 20% of my electricity bill, is tax, if the wanker in No 10 wants to help hard working families, he can stop taxing my electricity at 20%

If he really wants to help hard working families, he can throw the government behind shale gas and reap the benefits of North Sea all over again.

But he doesnt, because he is a piece of shit who does not belong in this party.

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Go **** yourself